Release

everal years ago I started the practice of choosing a word to help guide me through the year. I like to choose a word that keeps me focused on my growth and reminds me of the kind of person I want to be, and I keep that word visible every day so I don’t lose sight of that.

My word for 2020 is release.

This year I release control. I release perfection. I release the fear of the unknown.

I release the feeling of having to be in a constant state of unrest to be of value.

I release the need to worry about an issue to feel like I’m doing something about it.

I release the comparison’s that swirl around in my head and make me feel like I’m not good enough.

I release the walls I built around my heart that have shielded me from finding a community.

I release the ideas others have of me and I release the need to play into those ideas so I don’t rock the boat or upset anyone.

I release the need to play small and dim my light so I don’t make other people uncomfortable.

I release the feeling of having to stifle my truth when it differs from someone else’s.

I release the fear of opening up about my past trauma.

I release the idea that I have to do or be or act a certain way to receive love.

I release it all and I embrace myself, wholeheartedly.

I’ve lived most of my life watered down. I only shared the parts of myself that were considered ‘good’ or ‘normal’ and honestly at times I’ve been someone I’m not just to feel like I fit in. I lived the first 25 years of my life that way, and I’m done. It’s exhausting trying to manage everyone’s perceptions and reactions, and no one should feel like they have to. We should all be free to express our authentic selves without fear of judgment, shame or abandonment. From my experience, most of us aren’t taught that being different is good. We tend to view anything different as something inherently bad, and I just think if we embraced our differences and were accepting of other’s differences everyone would feel safe to be who they are and the world would be a much better place. Maybe it’s all a fantasy, but I believe unity is possible through acceptance and understanding, and I believe we are all deserving of love. I also think it’s fascinating that all these thoughts came from a single word: release. What a beautiful thing.

I’d love to know your thoughts on the subject and I’d love to hear what your guiding word is for 2020 if that’s your jam. Until next time, friend.